Magpie Spirituality and Me…and You and Possibly Some Others in the Universe

By Papa Candelaria


What is Magpie Spirituality?

There is a theory somewhere, under some name, that says each of us is the honest-to-goddess center of the universe. I shit you not. Magpie Spirituality is just a big name for a personal path that starts with this premise. You beg, borrow, or outright steal from traditions in all kinds of realms (historical, actual, physical, metaphysical, fictional, mythical and magical). And you make up your own way of understanding a universe that has you at its center.

Now, understand me. I’m not saying you are The Creator of or the most interesting thing in this universe. Just its center.

Of course you can spin your beliefs to make you The Creator or the Most Amazing Creation Ever. I believe there are an infinite number of paths for a spiritual magpie to follow. In other words, it’s your choice. And that is the dark side and the light side of Magpie Spirituality. Choice.

Not necessarily chosen-ness. For me not at all. I hate the notion of a pure or chosen people, place, time, being. It’s means the rest of us don’t count. Wrongo, magbongo. But my creation tale is showing here. Yours may be very different. It may be all about being the one true pure thing in the cosmos. To that I say: Of all the bright and shiny bits surrounding us, you picked up that nugget. And it’s not a pretty nugget. Yuck is all I have to say.

Welcome to the world(s) of spiritual magpies.

No two believe or do or be alike.

And yet I am here to give us all two things to hold in common. A prime directive for real or humorous relief and a prime holiday for real or humorous relief.


The Magpie Holy Moly Golden Rede

I love the Vulcan IDIC, otherwise known as “infinite diversity in infinite combinations.” It sums up nicely that each magpie pursues a path of their own making. But it belongs to the Vulcans.

Hanging around Wiccans in all their many manifestations in my adult life, I’m aware of the Wiccan Rede: “An it harm none, do what ye will.” (or a variety thereof: “And ye harm none, do what ye will” or “thou wilt” or on and on). Whatever the order of ye and thee and wilt and will, it was borrowed from one who borrowed from another who borrowed it from an even more ancient other.

Very very magpie.

But it belongs to the Wiccans and some are oh-so-very pious about it. Too much for my liking. But again, I’m shaking the dirt from my path onto yours.

Now, of course, you can take either of these commandments as your own. You are a magpie. Steal it and adorn your nest. But I think we thieves of thoughts should have something just our own. And something that can’t be made into a holy of holies and used to kill whomever gets left out.

And so, I present to you the one phrase all Magpies share in common (and possibly follow but then again there is no one magpie path or church or circle or nest or police or pope or queen bee, so your choice again), The Magpie Holy Moly Golden Rede:

“Thy kink is not my kink and that's fanfrellingtastic.”

Yes, I love the kinky folk and Farscape. And hell yes I’m putting it on a t-shirt. You have my blessing to make and sell you own. (Here’s to a future MagCon for us to meet at!)



I love having a festival of lights in the darkest of winter. I’m a fire-worshiping magpie myself. I call those kinds of magpies flaming magpies or phoenixes. I just made that up. See. It’s fun.

But I digress…

So, I love having a festival of lights in the darkest of winter. But, by Grabthar’s Hammer, I do hate what is called Christmas now. It starts before Halloween and is so filled with obligation and annoyance. Again, my apologies for my dust.

But I still want a celebration for us magpies. So I have called into being XYandZmas.

It happens on July 25 and the only rule is you must share something you love that day with your family and friends of choice. And if no one makes that cut, yes, you can do it all by yourself. That’s it.

It can have an eve or not. Have eight days or not. Thirteen days before or after. 40 days and 40 nights! But July 25 has to be there.

You can have it center around food or not, drink or not, sports or not. You can camp it up or just go camping. Have gifts or not. Make it a day without social media or all on social media. Thy kink is not my kink after all and that is fanfrellingtastic!


Optional: How We Echolocate Each Other

When I first started thinking about all this stuff years ago, I wanted magpies to have a way to find magpies. Like a symbol or emblem. But that ain’t very magpie to dress alike or be so predictably obvious. Then I thought of a greeting. An open “secret handshake.” I was obsessed with us greeting each other with “Namascray,” a twist on the beautiful Hindu greeting of “Namaste,” that implies that instead of seeing and honoring the divine in each other we see and honor the cray-cray. But that’s my dust again on your path.

So there is no symbol or secret handshake.

I plan to flesh out a World Tree of the Magpie that will have links posted on it to any magpie nesting that crops up. So we can at least know where to drop in or avoid as we travel this earth. We’ll see if I get around to it.

Namascray, Misfit Toys.